Today begins with the twerps..... in front of an absolutely bizarre house/tower, multicoloured and sitting amongst the barren rocks of the path they're travelling. The doors burst open and out leaps.... Team Rocket of course! They're disguised as a film crew and inform the perplexed twerps that this garish monstrosity is the Trainer's Tower and shunt them inside where they proceed to fall directly through a hole to be mocked by the new exposed (hey hey!) Team Rocket, while outside the giant striped banner above "Trainer's Tower" is dropped to reveal that Team Rocket.... really have WAAAAY too much time on their hands!
The twerps demand to be let out while Team Rocket cuts them and celebrates, heading up the lift of their surprisingly incredibly well designed tower to have a party and celebrate. They leave, but on their floor along comes a..... TOPGEI!?! Oh dear God no, a Togepi! It stumbles in chittering away in its deceptively cute voice and then.... REVEALS THE TRUTH! It is a monster! And it means to go....
Upstairs, unaware of the demonic entity below them, Team Rocket are getting ready to enjoy their party as Meowth rants on happily in a speech that explains they were able to build this base from the proceeds of their exceptional selling work at the Twinleaf Festival. Jesse and James grin and bear it, their hands cramping up holding their wine as they wait for the joyous Meowth to finish up so they can eat.
Meanwhile, Togepi stumbles its evil little body into the pantry and licks its lips disgustingly. Team Rocket hear a commotion from the next room and rush to find their foodbank trashed, and Jesse blames James, asking if he has started overeating "again". Another noise catches their attention and they head into the next foodbank where they find.....
Look I don't mean to sound like a broken record here but I TOLD YOU
I FUCKING TOLD YOU ALL THESE THINGS ARE EVIL! EVIL!
EVVIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!Meowth gets a banana peel in the face and takes a swipe at Togepi which appears to teleport away. Jesse looks to the side and sees Togepi collapsed on its face, but when it lifts its head it is all cute and eyes full of tears, chirruping to Meowth that it was ANOTHER Togepi that was eating their food and it tried to stop it but got a beating for its troubles and it tried to help them, gee golly mister it tried but golly things just got too out of hand for it!
Jesse is overwhelmed and lifts it up happily, squeezing it into a hug after it chirrups that it only wants to serve such wonderful people as them. They fall for it of course, and rush out of the door to find the evil Togepi, while good Togepi heads off the other way and chuckles menacingly, a demonspawn enjoying the fruits of its vile manipulation.
You know... I kind of missed raving about the evils of this little monster.
Meanwhile, Pikachu is still trying to blast the twerps clear of their holding cell, Piplup trying Bubblebeam too followed by Croagunk's Brick Break... but the bars refuse to even be tarnished. Ash has the idea to attack simultaneously and then the lift doors opened to reveal.... Togepi!
Dawn checks it out with the Pokedex and learns that Togepi "stores happiness in its shell" (yeah no shit! Happiness leeched from the life force of Misty!) and Ash tries to warn it away in case Team Rocket gets at it. It leaps up and hits a lever, opening the bars, and leads the delighted twerps out and... straight into another hole! They fall down and Togepi gurgles with demonic pleasure at their plight before returning to find Team Rocket in another of their raped foodbanks. It tells them it found the evil Togepi, and takes them to James' room.... which has a giant
James face on the doors!
James is horrified that his bottlecap collection might have been damaged or stolen, but when he enters they're all still there sitting in their frames. He hugs them with pleasure, but now that he has shown the Devil his love, it can exploit it! Togepi chuckles with miserable, horrible pleasure and uses Psychic to send the frames pitching around the room chased by a desperate James. Jesse rushes to her pink, heart-decorated room where she discovers her beautiful collection of pretty dresses to make her feel pretty are all still in her wardrobe, and her Octillery Ink Beauty Bath is still running.... and then Togepi psychically hauls the dresses through the air and drops them into the ink.
And in Meowth's room.... oh.
Oh Meowth. Meowth Meowth Meowth. Oh Meowth.
Togepi psychically causes the Giovanni robot to pet Meowth too fast, setting his fur on fire and causing him to go charging about in a panic. Meanwhile, Togepi has returned to the twerps in the cell and releases them again, leading them up to the top of the tower in the lift. They step out onto the platform overlooking the dry, rocky surroundings with the "Mount Rocketmore" faces behind them and.... immediately fall back down a new hole and into their cell again!
Dawn proves that she is more onto it than Misty as she begins to suspect that maybe, just maybe, Togepi constantly releasing them only for them to fall back down into the cell without it is more than just a coincidence. Just then, the lift doors open again and Togepi returns, sobbing unhappily and fooling the moronic Ash who TRAVELED WITH ONE OF THE DEMON SPAWN FOR YEARS. It lets them out of the cell again and points them in the way to go and.... well....
Yep.
Down the hole they go again, falling out of the tube again (Croagunk has a wonderfully exasperated look on his face) and the twerps have finally had enough, they know that this nonsense has gone on far too long.
Team Rocket reunite, Meowth carrying his broken Boss-Bot on a trolley, Jesse lugging her now ruined dresses and James hugging his saved framed bottlecaps. Togepi emerges and they prepare to throw down with it and.... IT UNLEASHES HELLFIRE! Their valuables are burned to a crisp, and when they charge it they.... fall down a hole into the cell with the twerps!
They blame Togepi and reveal it is evil (Ash acts as if this is a surprising thing), and then it comes down from the lift again to leer at them. Jesse calls out Yanmega and has it use Sonic Boom, but once again it appears to teleport away. Then the "other" Togepi comes sweetly rushing in and lets them out of the cell, and prepares to point them in the right direction when Brock calls them to a stop.
Brock, smartest of them all, the mother who would be a great human being if he wasn't such a desperate virgin, has just figured something out - Togepi can NOT learn Teleport, and therefore it must have used Substitute, and therefore.... that Togepi is the same Togepi as the evil Togepi!
They're all evil Togepis!
The jig is up and it cackles with delight to not have to pretend anymore, and when the twerps and Team Rocket's Pokémon try to attack it blows them a shot of Attract to put them out of commission... all but Croagunk which seems to be only momentarily lovestruck. However it joins the others along with Meowth as they follow it into the lift, all but Yanmega which stays behind. Brock explains that Attract only works on boys if you're a girl and on girls if you're a boy (what about bi-curious or gays!?!), which Jesse eventually works out means that.... YANMEGA IS A GIRL!?!
It actually blushes when it admits that yes.... yes it is!
In the lift, Meowth is pledging his service to "his love" the female Togepi, while Jesse is angrily stabbing the button for the lift before angrily smashing it with her fist when it won't reply. Brock figures that Togepi has done "something" to the lift, and Team Rocket lead the twerps up the emergency stairwell when suddenly the whole tower starts to shake, causing Jesse to try and do the motto, get shut down by Dawn, leading to James dramatically stating (and look dramatic while stating it!) that he fears Togepi is trying to start up their patented final dimension system.
And what IS their final dimension system? It's a goddamn motherfucking rocketship! A.... dimensional rocketship?
Does Togepi intend to launch an invasion on Heaven!?!
With surprisingly competently done 3d animation drawn over by hand, the Rocket blasts off into the sky, while inside the ship Jesse and James angrily defend their need for an actual honest to God rocketship by the fact of their name and that it is just too freaking sweet.
I mean seriously, Gentle Dodgers, if you could afford to buy a rocketship, you would. We all know it.
The rockets finish blasting and.... yes, they've done it, Team Rocket are in space and Togepi is sitting in the Captain's chair revelling in the dark glory of what it has achieved as Meowth runs everything like a fine first officer (and constantly referring to Togepi as "dear") as he asks for their destination and is told that they are to fly to the end of the Universe itself.
Oh my... Togepi really DOES intend to launch an invasion on Heaven!
Meowth prepares to hit the switch to send them on their way when....
The twerps and Team Rocket demand their Pokémon snap out of it, but when they all fail to do so, Brock calls out Happiny to Pound the fuck out of them until they snap out of it.. and it works!
Violence solves everything!
Togepi hits the Pokémon with another round of Attract, however, putting them back under its spell (it is fantastic that Croagunk keeps the same face the entire time, almost as if it wasn't actually under the spell but just doing this shit anyway for its own unfathomable purpose), and then turns its attention to Happiny.
And here we have it, Gentle Dodgers, the background twists to a Western stand-off, and the Demi-God like strength of Happiny is now set to be tested against the endless demonic might of the energy leech demon monstrosity that is Togepi. The two stand face to face, pure evil against the strength of innocence, and then finally they clash.... in a squeaking, adorable little pink puffball slapfight!
Meowth translates for Pikachu as it spots something approaching on the scanner, and turning on the viewscreen they see..... RAYQUAZA!
MOTHERFUCKING RAYQUAZA!
It blasts Hyperbeam at the rocket, sending it drifting back into the stratosphere as their power source fades. The ship begins to burn up, they're doomed to a fiery melting death.... but decadent wealth wins out the day as James reveals (while Happiny and Togepi continue to slapfight above him) his parents gifted him a rocketship for his 10th birthday!
Goddamn, James!
With the Pokémon snapped out of their Attract, Meowth has Pikachu Thunderbolt the emergency power supply to give them energy, and Buneary uses Ice Beam to cool the ship as it falls into the atmosphere. They're still falling uncontrolled though, and James makes a good show of looking introspective and dramatic as he states they need to stabilise... then admits he doesn't have a clue how to do that.
Brock does though, Grotle and Piplup will combine attacks of Energy Ball and Bubblebeam to create an explosion outside of the ship to push them back into a stable fall. Opening the doors to the outside of the ship, they do just that and it works, and James is able to deploy the emergency parachute to allow them to drift safely to earth.
But with the danger over, Togepi attempts to destroy the thing that cost it its dream of invading heaven and feasting on the life-energy of God! It blasts Hellfire at Happiny which Pounds it aside, causing it to blast through the roof..... and the parachute!
And down they go!
The Rocket falls directly back towards its launch pad and death is imminent.... when Togepi suddenly unweaves a blast of Psychic power that slows their fall and lets them hit the ground relatively safely. In the shaken cockpit, Togepi chirrups angrily at Happiny, translated by Meowth as saying that they will finish their business another day, but for now it is tired and wants to go home. It staggers out of the cockpit and BLOWS UP THE ROCKET!
The twerps are left lying dazed in the rubble as Togepi skips merrily off with its deceptively cutesy PRIIIIIII noises, leaving no doubt behind in the smoke that forms of its demonic origins, and puts a lie to the idea from the twerps that this Togepi is surely the exception to all the others.
Demons.... demons from hell, I tell you!
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Where No Togepi Has Gone Before mini Episode Guide (Read 3199 times)
